hey guys remember when you played brawl with friends and then this item would spawn in


and then fun times would immediately turn into either the feeling of unspeakable fear or the sensation of having overwhelming power in your hands


alright you guys have posted some pretty bad jokes on here but not one comes close to this doozy

brace yourselves

so there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. the second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. the third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.

the kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it’s a valuable resource to have. the first kingdom sends 100 of their finest knights, clad in the best armor and each with their own personal squire. the second kingdom sends 50 of their knights, with fine leather armor and a few dozen squires of their own. the third kingdom sends their one and only knight, an elderly warrior who has long since passed his prime, with his own personal squire.

the night before the big battle, the knights in the first kingdom drink and make merry, partying into the late hours of the night. the knights in the second kingdom aren’t as well off, but have their own supply of grog and also drink late into the night.

in the third camp, the faithful squire gets a rope and slings it over the branch of a tall tree, making a noose, and hangs a pot from it. he fills the pot with stew and has a humble dinner with the old knight.

the next morning, the knights in the first two kingdoms are hung over and unable to fight, while the knight in the third kingdom is old and weary, unable to get up. in place of the knights, the squires from all three kingdoms go and fight. the battle lasts long into the night, but by the time the dust settled, only one squire was left standing - the squire from the third kingdom.

and it just goes to show you that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides

friend: i'm going somewhere do you want me to get you something
me: get
me: DOWN yureru mawaru fureru setsunai kimochi
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i told myself “im gonna enhance the bass on thrift shop like that dancing queen post” but i went horribly wrong

is this the new death grips beat

Melting is tired. However, if you want a fun run, that would be mostly stress free, try using mostly his special ability, while also be careful and hiding from bullets. Throne Butt only makes it more fun, and Rhino Skin+Boiling Viens will help the longevity of your run. 

Fish can roll. Keep rolling. Always roll. Roll away from danger. Throne Butt is your friend.

Y.V. is a Gun God, and can double his shots, or quadruple with Throne Butt. As such, he can not double his melee attacks. When you try, it will show more than one melee attack line, but it does not actually exist, and only causes you to do less damage per second. 

Practice as much as you can. But don’t just practice for 5 minutes and stop, practice for an hour or two, with only one character, eventually, you will be seeing that you can make it to the Frozen City or beyond, with no problems, except for bad spawns and unlucky explosions. 

When playing for an extended period of time, try to play only one character. It becomes easier to use their special ability, and will help you get to know more about them! Steroids, for example, used to be a scientist before the apocalypse, but now, he is buff.

Disc Gun is really only usefull if you can dodge your own attacks. A bit of ADHD can be helpful as well.

Steroids+Throne Butt+Double Sledgehammers=A fun time! Just don’t die.

Splinter Gun is splintering fun

The Throne exists






why are mini m&ms so much better than normal m&ms 

because there’s this thing called the square-cube law (x) which basically says that as volume decreases, so does the surface area, but not as quickly (by the square of the scaling factor, instead of by the cube), which means that smaller m&ms have a higher candy:chocolate ratio than normal ones

i was gonna call u a nerd… but.. thats actually….kinda…interesting